


What Dark Creature Are You?

by Angel_Wings14



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: But also a bit ridiculous and soft, Except it's Simon who's plotting, Heart-to-Heart, It got angsty oops, M/M, Online quizes, Plotting, Rated for swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29589240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_Wings14/pseuds/Angel_Wings14
Summary: Simon has found an online quiz to determine if Baz is a vampire. Now all he needs of for Baz to answer the questions.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 8
Kudos: 104





	What Dark Creature Are You?

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah this just happened. It wasn't planned but here we are. It's based on this quiz:  
> https://www.quotev.com/quiz/10666691/What-Dark-Mythical-Creature-are-you   
> Thanks to del_writes for proof-reading this for me! She's the best :)

_Saturday_

**Simon**

“Penny, I think I’ve got it!”

Penny looks up from her first cup of tea for the day, eyebrows raised. She gently puts the mug down with a quiet _clink_ and sighs.

“I’m going to regret this, but got what?” she asks, already massaging her temple.

“I’ve found a way to prove Baz is a vampire!”

I plonk my laptop down on the breakfast table and turn it to face her. Loaded up on the screen is an online quiz to decipher what dark creature you are. I had googled “is my roommate a vampire” last night and was directed to this quiz.

“I filled out the options how Baz would, look, and it came up with vampire!” I explain, an edge of excitement, and perhaps a little hysteria from my lack of sleep, creeping into my voice.

Penny’s brow creases into a frown as she takes this in. She’s dragged the screen closer to her and is squinting at the first question.

_Which element do you prefer?_

“How did you choose which ones Baz would go for?” she asks me tiredly.

I take the seat next to her and click through, explaining my reasoning for each answer.

“Well look, first one, the element is obviously blood because, you know, he’s a vampire…”

Penny sighs even louder.

“That’s very circular logic, Simon.”

I frown at that. “What does that mean?”  
“If you’re doing this quiz to find out if he’s a vampire, which is ridiculous by the way because this was clearly written by some Normal, then answering the questions as if he’s a vampire will obviously get the result vampire.”  
I see where she’s coming from, but not all my answers use circular logic or whatever. I know I’m right about this, so I just barrel on to the next question without comment.

“Ok so next one, biggest fear is obviously being forgotten, because he can’t leave me alone. Like even when he’s not there he’s constantly doing something to remind me of him-“  
“Like what?” Penny cuts me off.

“Like, I don’t know… Like he left a book out on the table I like to use in the library the other day, and I _know_ he put there to mock me. It was about allocution or something.”

“You mean elocution?” Penny corrects. I roll my eyes. Her and Baz are the scarily similar sometimes, and if anything, this proves my point.

“So yeah,” I say, bringing her attention back to the computer. “Pick an animal, bat, yeah yeah circular logic shh, but the next one! The next one says pick a location and Baz just looks so good in the moonlight, and he knows it, the prick. He’s so full of himself I bet he takes moonlight walks because he wants Agatha to see him and his flawless fucking skin and his shiny hair and-“  
“Simon!” Penny interrupts, eyebrows creeping up towards her hairline.

“Ugh yeah,” I shake myself out. “Umm, so the next one, what brings you joy is _being successful_.”

“Hmm,” Penny hummed thoughtfully. “That one does make sense of those options I suppose. Loath as I am to admit it, we’re neck-and-neck in class.”

I nod enthusiastically, relieved she’s finally agreeing with me.

“Exactly!” I say, maybe a little too loudly given the glares from the people around us. I quieten down as I click through to the next question. “I chose red for him, because it’s like fire and he does all that fire magic right?”

I want Penny to stay on my side here, and at my explanation she’s nodding which loosens the tension in my shoulders I didn’t even realise was there.

“Uhh, this one I just clicked ambivert?” I say, though it comes out like a question. I don’t really know what that means but it was in between introvert and extrovert so that seemed about right.

“I would have gone with introvert…” Penny muses.

“But he always wants attention!” I argue.

He does. Every time he shows off his perfect spells, or his perfect football skills, or his perfect hair when it falls in that soft wave over his forehead, he looks at me with a smug little smirk as if to say, _see? Look how amazing I am._ But Penny is right too, because he doesn’t have many friends either (which isn’t surprising because he’s a dick) so down the middle seems about right.

Penny, concedes and clicks through to the next question leaving the answer on ambivert.

“Baz is reading _Dracula_ right now, so I picked horror,” I say, clicking through to the final page. Penny snorts at that. I have a theory that he only put it on the bedside cabinet to mess with me in the first place, but I have nothing else to go on.

The results screen flashes up. _Vampire._

“See!” I crow, gesturing emphatically at the screen. The second years on the end of our table stand up and move away, grumbling.

“This proves nothing, Si,” Penny says, shutting the lid down on the laptop. She resumes sipping her tea. “You can’t know the proper results unless you get Baz himself to take the quiz. And even if he does get vampire, this quiz is ridiculous and _proves nothing.”_

I ignore the last part, thinking hard.

“So you’re saying I should get Baz to fill it in… But he won’t do that, so I have to trick him into giving me the answers!” I smile. Who’s plotting now, eh Baz? I stand abruptly, grabbing a couple of handfuls of scones on my way back to our room at the top of Mummer’s Tower. It’s Saturday so I have all day to figure out the best way to get the answers I need.

**Baz**

I’ve had a good day, practising football and hanging out with Dev and Niall. They’re good lads and we had a good laugh. I’m lounging on my bed reading when Snow slinks in, eyes shifting suspiciously around the room without ever resting on me. I’m immediately on edge.

He sits down at his desk and carefully pulls out his laptop, but instead of putting it on his desk, he rests it on his lap, blocking the screen from my view with his body. _Because that’s not suspicious,_ I think caustically. Whatever Snow is up to, I won’t let him ruin my good mood.

After half an hour of mindless tapping, Snow stops and sighs loudly. He tilts his head in my direction without actually looking around and sighs again, this time louder.

“Adding to the clouds there, Snow?” I snipe, giving in. (I always give in. I’m weak.)

“What?” he says, somehow sounding like his mouth is full despite the fact he’s not even eating right now.

“You were sighing a lot, what do you want?” I roll my eyes. Merlin he’s an idiot.

“Oh, yeah I was just, uh, reading up on some… elements,” he starts slowly. He pauses.

“Elements?” I prompt.

“Yeah, you know: Earth, Wind, Fire, Air, Water. But there’s others like Magic, Undead, Blood, Moon and Stars…”

“I don’t think that’s quite right,” I frown. I’ve never heard of anyone calling the Undead an element, or Magic. What on earth is that idiot reading?

“Well, that’s what it says here,” he says to the screen, still not looking at me. If he did, I’m sure he’d be scowling, jaw jutting out like it does when he’s being stubborn.

There’s a long pause, and the air feels heavy and tense.

“Say, if you had to pick an element like that, which would you choose?” He’s clearly trying to affect an air of disinterest, but it really doesn’t work for him. He’s a terrible actor. But I’m feeling generous today, and I don’t see the harm in indulging him.

“Normally I would go for fire, but if magic is an option then magic,” I reply.

“Mmm interesting,” he nods, clicking something on his laptop.

Another awkward pause fills the room, squeezing the air out of the corners like an elephant wouldn’t. I’m just about to turn back to my book when Snow clears his throat, once more capturing my attention. Not that my mind is ever that far from him anyway. Even the book I’m reading was a ploy to make him feel uncomfortable.

“I, uh, I’m afraid of dying alone,” he announces, apropos of nothing. The back of his neck heats up, prickling around the fine baby hairs there like a rash.

“Okay?” Where did that even come from? He’s being so weird tonight. Maybe he and Wellbelove had a fight? “Do you want to talk about it?”

He freezes, then slowly turns to finally, _finally_ , make eye contact. His face twitches, mouth opening and closing like a guppy. He pushes the laptop closed and gingerly places it on the desk, before turning back, his eyes tight.

“I think I do?” he says quietly, sounding unsure.

I put the book down, moving with caution like I would around a skittish horse.

“Ok then,” I say, gesturing for him to go ahead.

He fidgets on the spot, once more avoiding my eye. He wrings his hands for a moment as he seems to gather his thoughts.

“Agatha broke up with me a few weeks ago, but this time it seems more… I dunno, permanent?” He starts quietly, staring at the fingers he’s twisting together anxiously. “And she said some things. She, uh, said she didn’t want to be caught up in all of, well, this,” he gestures broadly to himself, “and it got me to thinking…”

He glances up at me, a self-depreciating smile on his face. His eyes are so sad, it breaks my heart. I just hope it doesn’t show on my face. He sighs, and this one seems genuine.

“It made me think that maybe it would be best to just… Not?”

He suddenly gets up and flops himself down onto his bed, face first. It seems nothing more is forthcoming, but I don’t think that’s all there is to this.

“Best to not… what?” I prod.

He turns his head to me, gasping a little as if he couldn’t breathe properly with the blankets in his mouth.

“Not date anymore. Not get anyone else involved in the crap-fest that it my life. I mean, who would want to put their life on the line just for me? I’m not worth it.”

The self-pity he’s showing is not like him at all. (It reminds me of how I think of myself, but that’s neither here nor there.)

“Bullshit,” I say, not thinking for once before the words leave me. He jumps a little at my assertion. “You’re the fucking Chosen One, Snow. You’re heroic and brave and…” ( _beautiful_ ).

“Don’t mock me.”

He curls up onto his side, fisting the blankets into a lump to hold to his chest. I’m about to tell him that I’m not mocking him, that I meant every word, but he starts to talk again.

“It’s like, even my own parents didn’t want me. Maybe I’m just unlovable? Penny is going to move away to live with Micah as soon as she gets the chance, and I always thought I’d have Aggie when that happened, but now it’ll just be me. That’s if I even make it to that point, but I have to face down the Humdrum and fight the Old Families. I always assumed that you would kill me, and I was fine with that because at least then you’d be there, but I don’t even want to fight you anymore, so I don’t even have that… I just, I feel so alone all the time, so at this point it feels inevitable that I’ll die alone too. And who will even miss me then? The Mage doesn’t even talk to me half the time, and Penny has a life to live…”

His voice starts to waver as he trails off, eyes shining suspiciously bright in the fading evening light.

“I don’t want to fight you either,” I venture, swinging my legs down and leaning towards him in the gaps between our beds. “And I… I’d miss you.”

My confession hangs in the air.

“You would?” Comes the timid response.

“Yeah I would.” I expel the words with all my air, deflating, elbows perched on my knees.

Snow loosens his fists from the blankets and sits up, bringing his legs down by mine. I can feel the heat through our trousers, radiating steadily.

He ducks to catch my eye and holds it.

“Thank you,” he says, and it’s so sincere my heart clenches painfully in my chest.

We sit there, staring. My eyes roam over his face, enjoying seeing him this close without him trying to punch me or shout at me. I feel myself drawn to him like a moth to a flame, like Icarus to the sun. What I wouldn’t give to melt in his heavenly glow.

His breath blows across my face, breaking me out of the trance.

I take a shaky breath, tasting his smoky apple and cinnamon scent on the back of my tongue.

“I’m afraid of losing myself.”

“Huh?”

“It’s just you told me yours so…” I don’t know what I’m doing, but it feels right. I take a steadying breath and look down at my hands, just like Snow did moments before.

“You don’t have to,” he says, hand hovering in my line of sight, as though he can’t decide whether to reach out and touch. I don’t know if I’d want him to.

“I know.” I allow myself a small smile. “I think I need to talk about it too…”

I pause a moment to gather my thoughts.

“I feel like I’m being pulled in so many directions, and there’s this pressure to be the best, to constantly be there and with it, and I just feel like I don’t even know who I am. I want to make my father proud, and I want to become the man my mother would want me to be, but there’s the war and… And then there are other things.” (I don’t want to even name them.) “Things I don’t want but they’re inevitable… I don’t want to lose myself to that darkness and become everything my mother fought against…”  
I’m probably saying too much. But now that I’ve started, I can’t stop the torrent of words spilling from me.

“I don’t want to lose myself to it, and I’m so scared there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I can’t even ask for help, this is something I have to do for myself, but it’s so hard. I feel like I’m drowning and everyone I know is just watching from the shore.”  
I don’t know when I closed my eyes, but they’re startled open when I feel a warm hand graze my knee.

“I- I’d miss you, too,” Snow stutters out.

It doesn’t make sense, but somehow it was the exact thing I needed to hear in that moment. If I drowned, he’d miss me.

“Crowley, we’re a right pair,” I shakily laugh. As I do I shift and my hand brushes over Simon’s. His breath hitches but he doesn’t move. I leave it there.

Our eyes catch once more, the iron grey of mine drawn to the magnetised blue steel of his. Our breaths mingle, making the dust motes dance in the dying light of day.

“Baz,” he breathes, his other hand coming up to brush the loose hair tickling my cheek behind my ear. My skin sears where he touches me and tingles in his wake.

“Simon,” I whisper back, reaching up to hold the hand there.

We’re on a precipice, balancing on the edge of a knife. I don’t know what will happen if we fall.

There’s no telling who moves first, but suddenly we are on each other, mouths clashing as we raggedly breathe in the other. He said he didn’t want to fight anymore but his kiss is punishing, and I resist his domination with desperate whimpers. I’d be embarrassed by the sound if he wasn’t echoing it with a keening whine in the back of his throat.

He pulls me back with a firm grip in my hair, but before I can protest the loss of his lips, he clambers over onto my bed and resumes the onslaught. As time goes by, we find ourselves lowered onto my sheets, kisses mellowing to a slick slide of mouths.

It’s dark by the time we part, too tired to continue.

“Will you stay here tonight?” I ask into the hushed darkness. It’s the first time either of us has spoken since we started.

“Of course.”  
  


_Sunday_

“Ok last one, pick a genre”

I look over the options and smile. Given the elation that is bubbling through me, it feels like I should choose romance, but I promised Simon I would answer honestly.

“Hmm I think mythology,” I say, pointing out the box on the screen. “One of my earliest memories is of my mother reading me the Iliad. It’s one of my favourites.”  
“I don’t know about the Iliad, but the songs in Hercules are banging,” Simon smiles, a little lopsided and happy. He’s such an idiot, but he’s mine. I scoff, but it’s nowhere near as derisive as it usually is. By the way his smile widens, I know he noticed.

As we wait for the results to tabulate, I look at Simon’s profile. I couldn’t believe it when he admitted trying to get my answers for this stupid quiz is what prompted him to open up, but I can’t be too mad because it got us here. It’s also not a terrible way to get to know each other a little better.

_Witch._

I let out a breath.

“See, even this quiz knows you’re a mage,” Simon jokes and places the most delicate of kisses on my nose. “Nothing’s gonna change that.”  
  



End file.
